


I Tell My Love To Wreck It All (Come on, Skinny Love)

by armi_chan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 08:47:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6976183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armi_chan/pseuds/armi_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi Ackerman was an infamous painter. It is said that he could turn any blank piece of paper into something beautiful, something stunning. That painting was his life and passion. His hands were blessed with talent, his brain ingenious, the combination of the two making one of the world's most recognized, sprouting artist.</p><p>Unfortunately, he hadn't been painting for nearly 4 years now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Tell My Love To Wreck It All (Come on, Skinny Love)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfic for ereri so bear with me. 
> 
> If you don't like gay crap or ereri then I suggest you go away before you hurt yourself.
> 
> This story is for my dearest friend, [@chaelabot](https://chaelabot.tumblr.com) . I love you, keep on drawing. (p.s. her art tag is awesome af)
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy and If there are any typos or grammatical errors do forgive me.
> 
> You can listen to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3lWwMHFhnA) if you want.

 

"Aren't you cold? It's fucking freezing out here" A voice said into Levi's ear. Grunting-his eyes fluttered open, jaw clenching as he looked at the person who had dared to wake him up from his sleep. A tall lean guy with half blond dyed hair on top and black on the bottom, squared smile and an almost rugged horse face stood there, as the cold January blew his long, striped scarf to the side.

 

"What the fuck do you want?"  Levi crankily asked, moving to sit up on a bench he had been sleeping on. He then reached to touch one of his cheeks that had been resting against the cold, wooden surface, his eye twitching a bit as he did so. It felt frozen.

 

"That is dangerous." The tall male noted, obviously referring to sleeping outdoors during winter. _"_ It's below the freezing point out here."

 

Letting the hand drop down to his lap, Levi rolled his eyes sarcastically _"_ How can it be dangerous here? I'm in a park. What will happen to me, get murdered by a child?" He sneered.

 

“Don't be such an asshole. I was just trying to help.”  The blonde furrowed his eyebrows, before inviting himself to take a seat next to Levi, a bit too close. At least for Levi's liking. _“Wait- have I seen you before?”_ The guy tilted his head, eyes studying Levi's face carefully. “Something about you seems familiar.”

 

"No." Levi shook his head _"_ No, you haven't"

 

"But I'm sure I have..."  horse-face insisted. A moment of silence passed by between the two. Then it hit him his eyes got big and he grinned.

 

"You're Levi Ackerman, right? _The Painter_?"

 

At this point, Levi was more than annoyed. Why did people always have to stop him at the most unpleasant time gaping at him, and asking him if he's _"Levi Ackerman, the painter"_ and all those shit. Didn't they know that he died years ago? That he never touched neither brush or easel anymore? Seriously - didn't they know that he hadn't been painting in nearly 4 years now?

 

Ignorant people.

 

"Holy _shit_ , it really is! Man, my fiance loves you!" The male grinned, and Levi twitched a bit. Yeah, lots of people tell him that. So fucking damn predictable."He's so going to get so jealous when he hears this. I can't wait to see the look on his face~"

 

Levi's body froze, everything around him froze; and this time, it wasn't because of the cold weather. _"He?"_ his voice cracking.

 

Horse-face nodded his head, relaxed, yet with an ecstatic smile upon his face. _"_ My Armin and I are getting married next December 12th. Twelve days before Christmas."

 

"There's a year until it's December.." Levi folded his hands in his lap, his eyes looking down.

 

"We're willing to wait that long." The guy ensured, _"_ We're in love after all. And, well.. It's a magical date. It brings luck to the couples, an-"

 

 _"_ Spare me the fucking details." Leviinterrupted, crinkling his nose in disgust, as a hint of jealousy formed in his eyes. Fucking couples, surrounding him with their sappy love stories and their "happily ever afters". There was no such thing, and there would never be. Love only fucked people over, on and on, until there was only the outline of a heart back in their chests; the inside shattered into pieces, broken and in pain.

 

The taller guy didn't seem to mind Levi's cold attitude. His expression didn't change, nor did he stop talking. A weird guy indeed - either too friendly for his own good, or just a complete idiot. "I'm Jean, by the way."

 

Levi just nodded. There was no point in introducing himself, since this guy obviously already knew about him. But really, who didn't - he had been everywhere in his 30 year old life. Him and his art. He had even gained fame overseas, in the US, as well as the Middle East. He was praised, admired and respected. A person that critics said had blessed hands, and an ingenious brain, claiming that the combination had turned into one of the world's most recognized, sprouting artists.

 

Big words. Big words indeed.

 

But they were hollow on the inside; air. Yes, they were just air, floating around the atmosphere. Levi wasn't blessed - no, rather, he was cursed. A man in his best age, with a long career in front of him, and yet he was lonesome. So unbearably lonesome. And the only one that could take this away, make him feel alive again, was gone.

 

 _"_ Hey," Jean reached out to touch Levi's shoulder, "You alright? Is there something that I said made you feel bad?."

 

Levi flinched. The touch made him shiver. It was so warm and friendly, and yet, it felt worse than the cold wind; it cut its way through his clothes and his flesh, right into the bone. _"_ I'm fine."

 

 _"_ My fiance often talks about what a shame it is that you've stopped painting. He really loves your artworks, so I just wondered...."  Jean paused a bit-hesitating, but continued anyway. _"_ What exactly made you quit?"

 

Levi paused for a few seconds, blankly looking down on his own knees. What made him stop? Was it the pressure, or the lack of interest? Was it the fact that he had money enough to live at least 5 years more in luxury without having to do any sort of work?

 

No. Not at all.

 

The male reached down into his pocket, and Jean curiously followed the hand with his eyes. He then made a little, confused raise with his brow as Levi fished up a black leather wallet. He was about to ask but before he could, the painter opened the wallet and looked down into the eyes of a young, beautiful boy, on a slightly crumpled picture. And the boy looked back, his eyes shining, and a smile reaching almost from ear to ear.

 

"Who's that?" Jean asked, leaning in to take a closer look.

 

 _"_ This is Eren." Levi informed with a stiff nod, _"_ He was 14 at that time. Precious, right?"

 

A row of thoughts ran through Jean's head. A 14 year old boy? Could that possibly be Levi's son? How could he possibly be the father of a 14 year old son? Besides, he had never heard anything about the famous Levi Ackerman having a family. From what he had read, Levi was a mysterious loner. Attractive, but not interested in love whatsoever. Silently, the taller male waited for Levi to tell him more, his eyes focusing on the young boy in the picture. When he thought about it, he seemed familiar. It felt like he had seen that boy somewhere before. But the look in the boy's eyes made him unsure --there was something different about it.

 

Before he could think any further, Levi started talking again, "He would always smile. I remember that clearly. Whenever he gets low grades in his class he would just laugh it off like it was nothing." He swallowed the spit in his mouth. _"_ Some people called him stupid and careless because of this, but I thought it was admirable."

 

"I don't mean to sound rude or anything.." Jean quietly said, _"_ But what does he have to do with you quitting?"

 

Levi ignored the question completely. His eyes were locked onto the young boy's. His mind a completely different place. In his head, he wasn't sitting on the cold bench anymore in the merciless January weather. "You probably won't believe it, but shortly after this picture was taken, Eren got blind."

 

The tall guy blinked heavily. _"_ What, blind? What happened to him?"

 

"They discovered it too late, unable to prevent it. That Eren had a chronic disease that is, a rare one, too."  Levi took the picture out from the wallet, handing it to Jean without thinking about it. Behind it, there was another picture. It was the same person, Jean noticed, but there was something different about his glance. It was empty; _blank._

 

Then, it hit him.

 

This boy was hanging in his own living room, neatly framed in wood from an oak, the colors dark and gloomy, only lit up by the acorn brown locks of hair and ocean-like eyes that were beautifully stroked on with a soft brush. And at the bottom was a signature saying _"_ _Levi Ackerman, 2007"_. It was a portrait.

 

"The doctors said that he'd be alright---th-that he would get his vision back, just as long as he kept taking the medicine they had prescribed for him." Levi continued, his eyes now looking at the new picture instead. The boy was older on it, possibly around 18. His features were soft, like a woman's; lips plump, jaw sharp, nose perfectly placed in the middle of his face, and his eyes were like the ocean, leaving his whole appearance somewhere near perfect. Heavenly, in a way. If it just wasn't for the boy's dead eyes.

 

"But as years went by, his senses weakened, all together. His body slowly gave up on him - a terrible sight. He lost weight, got paler, and all that along with him starting to hear less, smell less, feel less.." Levi took a deep breath. It was so clear that these words were hard for him to speak. _"_ At least physically."

 

"And mentally?"  Jean asked, interested.

 

 _"_ Well.."  Levi couldn't help but smile. And that somehow blew the other male away - up until now, Levi had only looked annoyed and indifferent. "Mentally, Eren was fighting doing the very best he could to live everyday like his last, well knowing that for a person like him, it could very well be." He then closed his eyes, letting the memories play on the inside of his eyelids, like a little, incoherent movie.

 

_He had always dreamed of becoming an artist; a painter. But with a football coach as a father, the world of art was a distant thing in his family. Not even his mother understood his undeniable love for the universe of colors and abstract motifs, nor the rule of the Golden ratio._

 

_For years, Levi had been forcing himself to go to football practice, participating every game their school's team attended. He hated it, but it made his family proud, so proud. Then it didn't matter how much the loathed the sport - as long as he was accepted at home._

 

_Yet, Levi attended another class besides soccer. The teacher had bluntly answered with a "no" when Levi had first come begging on his knees for joining the visual art class without letting his parents know, but after seeing what the boy could do with his hands, turning a blank paper into a beautiful piece of art, she eventually agreed to let him attend. And here, he met Eren for the first time. Eren was 14, Levi 18, both in highschool._

 

_At first, it was their shared love for art that brought them together. Eren loved abstract things and motives that from many people's point of view possibly looked like nothing but blots on a canvas. He liked to go deeper into things, analyzing every little brushstroke. While Levi liked the more concrete things like portraits. Also when they were in class, Eren liked to watch more than to paint himself, where Levi loved having the brush in his hand, creating something pretty with it._

 

_Even as kids, they would always have little, friendly discussions about who they thought was the best painter of all time. While Eren would name artists like Kazimir Malevich or Pablo Picasso, Levi would shake his head, urging a bunch of other names._

 

_They were indeed different at many points, and yet, so alike. And there was no doubt that in Eren's company, Levi felt the best. Just knowing that his passion was shared with somebody made his heart thaw. Eren was what made him stand up for himself and go against his family's expectations. Because the other boy was proud to admit his love for the artistic universe. He wanted everybody to know, not ashamed to admit it in any way._

 

 _"_ The day I heard that Eren had lost his vision was the saddest day of my life." Levi's distant voice said, as he briefly snapped back to reality; on the bench, beside Jean."He hadn't been in school for almost four weeks. People told me he had been diagnosed with some sort of disease, and.. well.. to be honest, I didn't put much thought to it at first. Knowing Eren, I thought he'd be alright. He was the easygoing type."

 

Jean nodded his head, understanding. He spread his legs a bit, leaning backwards to sit in a more comfortable position. When he first had met the painter, he really didn't think that he'd hear as many words come out of his mouth as now. It was amusing, yet tragic. This story could not possibly have a happy ending.

 

 _"_ So when my art teacher told the class that Eren could not participate in the lessons anymore, I called bullshit. I literally told her that what she was saying couldn't be true. That she was lying. _"_ A bitter chuckle left the painter's lips, _"_ Then she told me that he couldn't attend anymore because he was _blind_." Looking over at Jean, he with a certain shakiness in his voice asked: _"What does art mean when you can't see it?"_

 

Speechless, the blond male stared back into Levi's sharp eyes. He wasn't sure if it was the question, or perhaps the sadness lying deep within the glance of the other male, but his heart started to feel heavy in his chest. "I.. honestly don't know."

 

"Nothing." Levi answered. "It's _nothing_."

 

The wind blew a strand of hair out of Jean's face, biting into the surface of his cheek with its freezing coldness. He didn't know what to say. _F_ _uck_ , what was there to say? Nothing seemed appropriate in the context of the conversation.

 

Because of this, the silence was heavy. It felt like it was stacking a brick wall between them, making the air thick on each side. Levi then reached over to grab the old picture of Eren from Levi's hand, breaking through the invisible shield of bricks.

 

He looked at it for a long time. Then, he turned to look at the newer one. The blonde male watched him, and at this point, he swore that he could see the painter's bottom lip quivering. As if he was about to burst into tears. He just didn't. No matter how long Jean waited for it to happen, he didn't.

 

 _"_ I loved Eren." Levi put the pictures back down into the wallet, closing it. _ **"** I loved him so much._"

 

The thing about Levi was that the word "love" usually didn't leave his lips anymore. As years went by, the painter had grown not to love anything. He liked his friends. He was fond of painting. He was drawn to art, but he only loved Eren. And along with him starting to dislike everything else, his love for Eren only grew larger and larger. Blind or not- Eren was perfect in Levi's eyes. He was a _masterpiece_ , inside and out.

 

Though it was hard at first to see the younger boy in such a critical state, the older quickly learned to live with it, guiding and helping him the best as he could with his little time since he was attending as an art student at trost university. This was also an opportunity to hold onto Eren's hand, only letting go of it when necessary. He was only 21 back then, not knowing too much about love, other than those meaningless girlfriends he had during his highschool years. But he liked the softness of Erens hand - and the way the younger would tighten the grip when he sensed that he was about to walk into something.  

He also liked watching movies with Eren, and the way he had to describe everything that was happening. Just the feeling of the blind listening intensely to his voice, laughing and smiling, made him happy.

 

 _ **"** Carpe diem."_ Levi whispered.

 

Jean blinked a few times, leaning a bit closer to the painter in order to hear better. "Excuse me?"

 

 _"Carpe diem."_ The other male repeated, this time loud and clear.

 

The blonde boy was still puzzled. What did that mean? To him, it sounded like nonsense. But knowing Levi, it probably had a much deeper meaning than that.

 

As if he could read right through the male, Levi noted: _"_ I-It's Latin. It means _'Seize the day'_ , basically." He smiled a bit. "Eren taught me that."

 

"He did?" Jean smiled back, sincerely. What a beautiful quote. Deep and full of meaning. A picture of his fiance popped up into his mind. Of the tiny Armin standing in the kitchen with his little apron on, cooking and scolding Jean for getting into fights with strangers. Calling him a rascal, a lazy ass, anything. Yet, it wasn't a bad picture at all; because he knew that his fiance only said it because he cared. And he enjoyed every day with him, and every time he was nagged on.

 

"It was his last words" Levi spoke again. The smile of the taller male vanished completely.

 

Jean swallowed so hard that he almost choked on his own tongue. "H-his last words?" There was something uncanny about that. Something that stabbed his heavy heart, too. So this blind boy was already _dead_? _"I'm.. sorry."_

 

The painter licked his dry lips, closing his eyes. He hadn't been there with Eren when it happened. In all honesty, he hadn't seen it coming at all. The blind boy had always been so cheerful, so full of life and hope, even with his weakened senses. Nothing like that was supposed to happen.

 

For years, they had been together. As the best of friends, but also as more. Much more. They had never kissed, no, and they had never done anything romantic in that way. But their bond, that unbreakable bond between them, meant more than a thousand kisses to Levi. The feeling of Eren's hand in his, holding onto it. That was all he needed at that time. The kisses and the romance would come at its own pace, he thought. As long as they were _together._

 

During winter, Levi would take Eren out to skate on the icy surface of the little lake at the local park, and when summer came, he'd take him to the beach, holding onto him so that he wouldn't get his head under the salty water.

 

Not only was Eren the most important person to him; he was also his inspiration. Nothing inspired him to paint more than Eren and his stunning way of being. Everything he did seemed artistic. He was without a doubt Levi's favorite motive. It was just a shame that Eren himself couldn't see the portraits.

 

Levi sighed and stood up from the bench. _"_ Do me a favor, Jean." He put the wallet into his own pocket, before looking that the taller male that was still sitting down, in the same, relaxed position as before. Just that he wasn't relaxed--rather, he was frozen. _"_ Please be happy with your fiance. You have my blessings." 

 

And with that, he walked off, hastily. He had never opened his heart like this to anybody before. Never. And though he felt relieved, the loneliness within his heart only grew bigger. Enormous.

 

 _Why?_ Why had Eren done such a thing? Sneaking out from his home in the middle of the night, with bare feet and only wearing a pajamas; the blue one, with vertical, white stripes. He had somehow managed to make his way to the train station, about 3 miles from his home, despite his lack of strength.

 

Levi went up to his apartment, shutting the door behind him. He immediately went to grab his palette of colors, moving to the easel. And he painted. For the first time in years, he painted. And that while a monsoon of thoughts ran through his head.

 

What had Eren been thinking when he had felt the metal of the train tracks underneath his feet, hearing the loud, shrill sound of the train's bell ringing, trying to alarm him? There were people screaming too, telling him to get out of the way, he had been told. _Why didn't he move?_ God, why the hell didn't he move?

 

There was nothing the painter wouldn't do to just be able to turn back time, and be there to save Eren. Even if it meant he had to sacrifice his own life, he'd do it.

 

But even so, the younger boy had wanted it himself. To die at the age of 21,with his arms open, awaiting. And just as his ears could discern the sound of the train getting close, far too close, he had yelled out: **_"Carpe Diem!"_**

 

And he was gone. All left was a red, bloody mess.

 

**Red.**

 

Levi dipped his brush into the red color. Red was the color of love.

 

Hours passed, before he looked at the painting one last time, giving it some finishing touches here and there. Then, he _smiled_ ; bitterly and yet with a certain sweetness. It quickly faded though, as tears began to fall from his eyes, dripping down onto the palette in his hands, the salty water messing up his colors. But he didn't care. He just stared at the piece of art in front of him.

 

It was of _Eren_. And of _himself_ , too. They were sharing a loving kiss, sweet on the lips. And behind them was the bright, red color shinning, lightening up the entire artwork.

 

Red was the color of love.

 

And death.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let's all cry together in bundles of blankets and drink hot cocoa.  
> I also have a [Tumblr](https://armi-chan.tumblr.com) if you want to talk to me.
> 
> This story was/is based on Tesshi's 2min fanfic.


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